The San Antonio Spurs have now officially decided on French basketball participant and attainable superhuman Victor Wembanyama within the 2023 NBA Draft. They nearly decided on him upon successful the NBA Draft Lottery a couple of weeks in the past. And the Spurs started manifesting the dream of drafting Wembanyama when buying and selling Derrick White to Boston, after which doubled-down on that manifestation by way of buying and selling Dejounte Murray to Atlanta, after which tripled-down on that manifestation by way of buying and selling Jakob Poeltl again to the Raptors.
However you don’t want the historical past lesson, all that issues is Wembanyama is a Spur. And if he’s going to be the franchise cornerstone all of us hope he’ll be, he needsa cool nickname.
Sure, he comes pre-programmed with “Wemby,” however y’all, I do know we will be able to do higher. I now provide to you… The respectable Fiesta Shorts information to giving Victor Wembanyama a greater nickname.
Let’s simply get this one out of the best way. Wemby is dull, lazy, and uninspired. I’m now not looking to say “The Giant Elementary” used to be probably the most ingenious identify of all time, however no less than any individual attempted. Merely deleting 2⁄3 of Victor’s closing identify and including a “y” on the finish seems like a whole loss of effort. Simply admit you’ll be able to’t be troubled to learn to say his closing identify, which isn’t laborious to do.
Counterpoint: It sounds as if Wembanyama likes this nickname in order that’s unlucky.
The French Rejection
As a result of he blocks photographs, you spot. It’s some of the many stuff he’s superb at, and this nickname additionally harkens to an outdated timey noir movie I’ve by no means observed and most likely by no means will. However that doesn’t subject. It additionally simply sounds cool. I will be able to listen Invoice Land shouting “THE FRENCH REJECTION” in my goals and I’ve by no means slept higher than I do at this time.
One small, tiny bummer about that is that Basketball Reference lists this as a nickname of Rudy Gobert, however I’ve by no means heard someone name him this so I’m going forget about that. Additionally they say that Gobert is referred to as the Stifle Tower and… Gobzilla? This will’t be proper. Whilst we’re at it, you shouldn’t get to assert a couple of nickname at a time. Gobert is breaking a wide variety of unwritten regulations right here.
I suggest that if The French Rejection really is a nickname Gobert is going by way of, we play a recreation for it. If, at any level in his occupation, Wembanyama out-blocks Gobert over a season OR in a head-to-head recreation will get to take The French Rejection for himself.
AND if Wembanyama ever blocks a Gobert shot right through a recreation, Wembanyama right away takes possession of the identify. Truthful? Truthful.
I haaaaaate this one. This may be lazy as hell. And once more, simply because you’ll be able to’t trouble to pronounce the dude’s identify doesn’t imply you get to lodge to one thing this straightforward.
The item that in reality proactively scares me about someone the use of this nickname is the inevitability of other people calling him “Giant Dick Vic” the primary time he wins a recreation with a seize transfer.
That’s simply bizarre, we gotta transfer on from this one. Put a large ol’ “NO” stamp at the Giant Vic report please and thanks.
The item I really like about this identify is that jamming is cool. Area Jam used to be cool. NBA Jam is cool. Jam on toast? Signal me up! Uh… Bob Marley did some jamming and other people appear to like that. I as soon as watched a Phish live performance by way of livestream and whilst they have been technically jamming (ferociously jamming from time to time, I might say) I used to be not able to definitively resolve whether or not or now not it used to be cool.
Let’s now not get too hung up on that closing one. Usually, jamming is cool. Cool? Cool.
Talking of items I will be able to listen Invoice Land shouting in my goals… “WembanJAMA with the put again… ohhhh mama” is up there.
Does Wembanyama jam? He can jam. We would possibly have to attend till he has a in poor health dunk reel to make use of this identify, however I would like it in the market as an possibility so we don’t overlook about it if he begins going nuts at the AT&T Heart rims.
Victor the Restrictor
Ok. No that is silly. My dangerous, y’all.
OKAY HEAR ME OUT as a result of I reside in Germany and possibly it makes extra sense in Deutsch, however in Germany, as an alternative of France we are saying “Frankreich” and we’ve established that Wembanyama is more or less a monster (within the coolest approach), so you spot?
Frank = he’s French, “-enstein” on account of Frankenstein’s monster?
It really works, simply consider me in this one.
For my part, I’m caught on The French Rejection however Frankenstein is rising on me. Like, between the time I wrote this and the time it used to be able to post Frankenstein most likely turned into my favourite. Were given a greater nickname? Percentage it with us on Twitter @projectspurs and shout it from the rafters all season lengthy.