The Colts new uniforms are so unhealthy they defy phrases

I’m typically partial to the exchange uniform, and love seeing them published — however the Colts made up our minds to rob me of that pleasure on Thursday morning.

What within the ever-loving international of Kentucky-ass soccer are those? We’ll get again to this complete “Indiana Nights” factor, as it’s hilarious. For now, let’s focal point on those uniforms, which appear to be Cookie Monster made up our minds to cosplay as Darth Vader for a night.

Critically, y’all, you might have one of the most absolute best, cleanest, and most-iconic uniforms in all the NFL. Come what may this exchange manages to strip out each certain part and change it with an excessive amount of blue, and black — removing all of your logo popularity within the procedure.

Did you fashion this off the St. Louis Battlehawks? That’s now not a rhetorical query.

The all-blue could be unhealthy sufficient, however for those who glance intently it has those bizarre little white flecks in it. It makes the uniform appear to be flannel pajamas from an old-timey cool animated film the place the nature has buttons protecting up their butt-flap.

What precisely is an “Indiana Night time”? Indianapolis itself is a beautiful cool town, however outdoor of that now not such a lot. For those who’re repping the entire state then is an “Indiana Night time” when making a decision to devour mayonnaise out of the jar at the porch as a substitute of on the eating room desk? I had an unlucky time dwelling within the midwest and traveled thru Indiana so much, and probably the most memorable factor I noticed outdoor of Indianapolis was once a drug retailer known as “Butt Medication.”

There was once a liquor retailer within too that stated “Butt Liquors” above it. I feel I’m most commonly speaking about Butt Medication now as it’s an avoidance method, so I don’t want to discuss those uniforms anymore.

Anyway, additionally why within the identify of all this is holy are you having Alec Pierce sing their own praises this factor? Why sure, indubitably show off your 500 backyard white receiver over, I dunno, THE DYNAMIC FRANCHISE QB YOU JUST DRAFTED!

No, wait, scratch that… I don’t need Anthony Richardson subjected to this trash-ass uniform. I’m happy Peyton Manning by no means needed to put in this mess.

Burn the inventory and get started over. I realize it’ll price cash, however a minimum of it method we will erase those uniforms from our reminiscence.